Ordinary people will consider me distant...
from the usual emotions of human life.
But how ordinary are people any way?
I suppose I look at life a little differently.
My impressions are molded by a series of events.
that were not in my control.
And I've grown through this life from the outside.
I never really knew my mother.
I asked for my dad...
We got fleeting glimpses of the last few years of his life.
So I grow up with my sister in foster homes.
We were always on the move, wondering
what the next day would bring.
But really had no place we could call home.
As children we never imagined that there was a world out there...
that other people spent all their lives grabbing at.
As much as we wanted to break out into that world,
nobody ever told us that the more we grabbed...
the more we would lose a few pieces of ourselves.
It was inevitable.
I guess.
So I drifted along in search of that world.
Wondering if it could finally have a place for me in it.
Wondering if it could finally embrace me with open arms.
Or would I be a drifter?
For the rest of my life?
Dinshaw?
Dinshaw!
What?
Dinshaw!
Bloody deaf idiot!
Mr. Sethna?
Hi, I am Cyrus... I'm...
I've come regarding the pottery school.
Mr. Sethna, how do you do, sir?
I am Cyrus it's...
It's truly an honor to be standing before you.
Honor?
I don't need any of these honors.
You have come from where?
Jamsahed Pur actually, I was...
Can't hear that I am yelling to you. What if it had...
Hello, I am Katy.
My wife.
Hello Mrs. Sethna, I'm Cyrus.
Like I was saying, sir, it truly is an honor...
I've been following your work ever since I can remember.
His work was in the cover of Time Magazine in August '92.
The year before we got married.
He was famous for a lot more than that, Mrs. Sethna.
His work was displayed at a private showing, I think, in the Guggenheim Museum.
In New York, I believe.
Where... in US then?
What nonsense these people. They have no decency to inform us, Dinshaw.
Dinshaw!
Yes, yes baba, I heard.
The private collectors...
they are not obliged to inform the... sculptor.
Anyway, this was a private showing.
Anyway, I'm not interested in selling my art anymore.
So, you've come from abroad?
No, from Jamshed Pur.
As a night pass. It took me quite a while to find this place.
Not exactly.
Come in... come in.
It was really as simple as that.
This would be my home for the following year.
At first I thought it may have been Dinshaw's need of for a poetry assistant...
which he had advertised for.
But somehow, Katy's eagerness to allow me in, told me...
that I'd be doing a lot more than just getting my hands dirty with clay.
I apprenticed for Dinshaw Sethna.
Sculpture, avant guard...
now vanished into obscurity.
A recluse whose works had won several accolades which they knew nothing about.
You must hear my story.
Me and Dinshaw got married, Dinshaw, do you remember how drunk I got?
Me, they knew nothing about either.
But, within that year, they found a friend in me.
I think it had something to do with the fact that a new face around gives some
color to their seemingly mundane lives.
Besides, they sure could do with an extra hand around the house.
Dinshaw was an amiable fellow... I guess.
He wasn't a very practical man.
More the dreamer, talker variety.
You know, hundreds of years ago...
somebody like me...
must have stood on a hill like this and played join the dots...
with the stars.
They saw shapes and things they saw bears, insects...
virgins, some whores...
twins, triplets.
Ah! the imagination.
Studious call them constellations.
First smoke of the morning and the stars would always come out from him.
Maybe I was born under a planet that was... artistic.
Hah!
If I could sell my artistic experiences for what they cost me.
I'd be a bloody millionaire.
But my...
there's no planet for money.
All these dead rocks are bloody piss poor.
You're wife loves astrology.
My wife loves astrology because she and that bloody bollywood chap
each have same birth date.
She loves astrology because no astrologer has ever been unkind to her.
The way she thinks the life has been.
Why has life been unkind to her?
This is the closest Mars will ever be to earth.
Mars the martial planet.
The planet of war!
Do you sense the martial force, Cyrus?
His wife, on the other hand, had plans of her own.
Katy was a piece of work.
My eyes would rarely get past her swish of hips and bounce of breast.
I would blush profusely and she would love it.
Most people make eye contact.
Katy liked to make breast contact every chance she'd get.
Her tits were the front desk of PR troops and they were oblivious to my discomfort.
But I guess she was sweet...
articulate...
but hopelessly predictable...
and not get through a sentence without relying on inappropriate cliches.
Katy would lay down the whole day dreaming of things she could have been.
She was in need of a plan to change her life.
I caught glimpses of this dream every now and then.
And saw no harm in encouraging her half baked aspirations.
Dinshaw!
It's your brother from Dubai.
This time?
So I went along. For I was sure of one thing.
If I wanted, I could play Katy like a violin.
Leo Tolstoy once said...
"all happy families resemble one another"
"Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
This is about the Sethna family...
the two brothers,
their old father, Fardounjee...
and a few variants thrown in for good measure.
This my side of their story.
Hmmm...
That's Dinshaw's brother Farooq on his wedding day.
Embarrassed at not marrying earlier...
Farooq seemed proud at finally landing a young demure bride.
Unlike Katy, he had a clear plan of what he wanted.
Their father, Fardounjee, was a millionaire in his own right.
In name only, mind you.
He was the owner of an entire building in Bombay.
Yet lived like a pauper under the harsh hand of his son, Farooq.
Dinshaw was the older of Sethna brothers.
He and Farooq never saw eye to eye.
He hated being here.
After inheriting the country house over his father's building in Bombay,
he had little interest or use for the family.
How relaxed Farooq's bride, Tina, felt at this moment... is anyone's guess.
Someone who finally answered one of Farokh's repeated offers in various matrimonial columns,
a lamb to a slaughter, one would imagine.
And yet.
So here we have dregs of the Sethna Family tree.
They had a rich past once...
but something had changed along the way.
The fruits and nuts had multiplied...
and now they were one screwed up family...
like any other.
Cyrus, he's old, so please treat him carefully.
He is worth of much more than you can ever imagine.
So just get on his good side.
Here
Have you thought about what you are asking me to do?
When you think too much and don't do nothing, nothing happens.
Cyrus, you think you came here by chance?
This is our destiny, Cyru. Dinshaw can keep nothing.
Dinshaw doesn't care about anything, OK,
let alone you or his family in Bombay... I mean it's just...
I know, I know... but listen...
Just follow my instructions.
This will work out for everyone.
Just remember...
Just relax, OK?
You were meant for much better things than this.
They should be dry by the morning.
Hi, Dinshaw.
- Sorry. Goodnight - Goodnight
Mr. Sethna?
Mr. Fardounjee Sethna!?
I am old, ya, but yet not deaf.
Can I help you here?
I'm sorry...
the television was on so loud that...
The volume button is stuck on full...
what can I do?
You know...
nowadays, it's getting expensive to fix things.
I could take a look for you if like...
Mr. Sethna, I am Cyrus, Katy's friend.
Katy, from Panchgani, your daughter in law?
And Dinshaw, your son.
Oh yes, yes!
Dinshaw, my son, and Katy, his wife.
They've given me something for you.
It's for your birthday and for Parsi New Year.
They told me...
You know, Katy actually called me last night...
and told me to expect you.
I didn't get a chance to speak to my Dinshaw.
He's working very hard you know.
Yes I know.
Anyway Katy said to say that they are both in best of health.
Not to worry.
You know, they asked me to give that to you in your hand Mr. Sethna.
Please be careful.
- May I come in, please? - No, no, no, no!
If they find out, they will take it away from me.
You know what they did to me the other day?
They pushed me, they kicked me.
Asked me to get out of the house.
Said I am a burden on them.
They pushed me so hard that I fell on my knees.
Just... just look at this.
Your son did that?
Ah, yes, you don't know what it's like.
They serve portions that are so small
that I stay hungry for the whole day.
Sometimes I feel so weak...
that I can hardly stand.
I get dizzy and fall down.
And they say I'm a burden because I injured myself.
Did you put the door on the chains?
They don't allow me to do that.
They have a key
and they said that they would have to break the door if I can't open it.
And they also told me that connecting door is sealed from their side.
Please
Please tell my son Dinshaw and my sweet Katy
how they are entertaining me.
Well! I better get going Mr. Sethna.
Is there anything else you wanted to tell them?
Tell them to visit, you know...
Panchgani us not that far.
I will.
Now... please look before opening the door next time.
You shouldn't just open it, you know? Without knowing who it is.
It wasn't about the bruise.
What sickened me was the sight of how helpless and vulnerable he was.
How quickly everything seemed to break down...
once you get this old.
Considering that old Fardounjee owned the entire building...
I found it strange that he was caged in the back room of his son's house.
Someone was going to have to take care of this old man.
Now please don't give me some ugly excuse this time.
It's supposed to be a gift isn't it, I mean...
couldn't you wrap it up a little better or something?
Cyrus, please trust me.
He loves these chocolates.
I'm sure he does but...
They'll probably melt by next week.
That's not my problem.
You just make sure that you keep him company this time.
I have to leave.
I have to go and pick up that bloody Clay for Dinshaw before the shop closes.
Do you know how to use this?
Cyrus, the latest phone! It even has games on it!
It's a phone Katy. You dial, you speak, you hang up.
Hello Mr. Sethna, you remember me?
I came here before.
Even as the words spilled out, I could tell he'd been having a fucky day in neverland.
I've seen statues with more expressive eyes.
It had been what... only a week?
Senility was pissing all over him in a hurry.
Katy and Dinshaw's friend...
Who?
From Panchgani? I had brought you that peromni last week?
No, thank you.
- No, no, thank you. - Katy and your son Dinshaw.
Ah! Dinshaw and Katy's friend.
How are you Mr. Sethna?
Hey! How are my Dinshaw and Katy?
They're fine.
Here, these are for you.
You like chocolates don't you, Mr. Sethna?
Katy said these are your favorite.
Mr. Sethna?
I need to use your telephone.
Chocolates.
They've sent chocolates.
Yes, Mr. Sethna, should we...
keep them in the fridge while I make a short call?
I want to call Katy and Dinshaw in Panchgani.
You know...
they will don't allow me to call long distance anymore.
Will be dropping in sometime soon?
Do you think they've realized, through the thin wall, that you have a visitor?
I really hope so... come...
Come over here.
You can't take those to bed with you, you know, Mr. Sethna!
Sit.
Good.
Should we open the bag?
Let's try one, shall we...
No, no son!
I'll take these after dinner.
Sure you will.
You just try one now.
A small piece won't hurt.
Delicious!
Hello Papa!
Mr. Farooq Sethna.
I'm Cyrus, Katy and Dinshaw's friend.
So you have come from Panchgani?
A week ago.
You brought a gift also.
Stupid idiot!!!
open your mouth!
Papa!
Do you know? Are you aware?
Is my stupid brother aware?
That his father gets loose motions every time he eat this shit?
Papa come on, spit it out.
Papa 1...
Papa 2...
It's too late baba, he already...
Will you shut up?
You please don't interfere.
None of your business.
You've given your message now, now please get out.
Papa what have you got here?
You stubborn old man why don't you...
Listen to me?
What's going on here?
What happened, Papa?
My brother has sent a new messenger boy.
Wants to take care of his father again long distance.
Same bloody joke is going on for the last five years.
What is it this time?
Did you have any of these?
He should have some consideration, no?
Papa you know you cannot...
I have cleaned his bombs.
I am a dutiful son. I will straight to heaven...
But he should have some consideration, no?!
That...
Did you bring these?
Yes, I did.
I am sorry, I didn't realize...
That's very kind of you.
But you should know that any food items you bring for him...
its much better if you give us.
I mean, we also give him chocolates and all...
but, you know, you give him the whole bag...
and there is no control.
He doesn't realize that he can't have them all at once.
Your name is?
Cyrus Mistry.
Papa, I'll keep these in fridge for you, huh? I'll give you some after dinner.
Thank you.
And bye-bye.
- How many of these did you eat, Papa? - That's all?
Ah ya. I am leaving.
Bye, Mrs. Sethna.
- You know you get a stomach upset... - Of course stomach upset!
What do you mean stomach upset!
I have to bloody clean it up!
I have to clean it up! This is the way you bloody make...
Now this is what I call haut cuisine.
These Parsi dishes now, they are fit for prince and princess.
But nothing compares what we use to get in Bilimora.
Better than Bombay?
Much better.
I remember Mr. Framjee was there... Framjee Caterers...
of Bilimora.
There used to be a wedding or function at least once a month.
You know what they used to make?
They would break 4000 eggs.
They would put their heart and soul into the preparation.
- Want some bread? - Hygiene and traditional matter.
- Dinshaw? - Everything with your own hands and feet.
Dinshaw?
- That's what makes food taste great. - Dinshaw!
What have you been talking about?
Nobody listens to me anymore.
Nobody, nobody, nobody!
That Shalani, she took off.
And for the year I have done all the house work.
Look at the house!
Look what I have to clean everyday.
It's coming out of my head.
I'm cleaning, cleaning, cleaning... until the cows come home.
Listen, why can't we move to Bombay?
I just don't understand.
Yes, Bombay.
Where your family is. Where your brother is.
Every night, something's happening there!
This place is dead.
Aren't you coming to bed?
That bastard doesn't know what he's got... he's a fool.
Where were your brains when you married... God only knows?
What? Hold on.
If you are not feeling sleepy then read a magazine or something, no?
Why are you poking your nose in my work?
Why do you have to keep talking when you know I have been disturbed?
Looking back...
they were a funny bunch alright.
I use the word funny loosely perhaps.
Funny, as in, not quite understandable.
Some rattling bones and closets.
Stuff swept under carpets, maybe.
I couldn't really narrow it down more than that.
But they went on living and loving each other...
in that funny sort of way.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to make our lives a little simpler.
How?
By playing with electricity?
Do you know how dangerous it is?
I'm trying to connect our own answering machines...
so that I can take bookings for my pottery school.
Huh! Answering machines.
Why? What's wrong with your tongue?
You can't answer the bloody phone or what?
Acting as if you are gone on holiday everyday.
Katy, you know I am busy all day in the pottery shed with my work.
By the time I reach the phone, the damned thing is dead.
So many calls I keep missing.
That's why we have bloody cordless you idiot!
Don't touch the phone!
I'm expecting a very important call from my brother in Dubai.
Everyday he calls you.
Does he have a lot of money?
Yes, he does.
That little fart. I'll kill that bastard dog.
Once upon a time, there was a tavern...
Hello?
So long to pick up the phone?
I would be half way to Panchgani in that time.
You know, it's a big house.
Do you have the exact time?
Exact time?
Yes, of course, one second.
It's exactly 7 past 2.
Your bloody clock is slow.
It's showing 5 to 2.
My stomach is never wrong.
2 o'clock on the dot and I know it's lunch time.
Please sign these forms, sir, the customer's waiting outside.
You know it is my lunch time now?
Why you have to come last minute?
Mr. Forus just gave me this... for Mrs Nanawati, she needs it for a...
Dinshaw, I'll have to call you back.
So how is that duffer husband of yours?
Hello, you have reached Dinshaw Sethna's Pottery School...
Sorry, darling...
that was the machine that our pro Einstein just fixed.
I knew that, but the bloody phone got cut out.
I'm dying here my Raju...
Working non-stop day and night.
This is all getting too much for me.
I need to be rescued.
Don't worry my sweetie.
I will be your Lord Falkland.
How sweet!
Lord who?
Lord Falkland...
tried to cross the green... or water puddle?
Whoever, who cares.
This no puddle I am in... I'm fully drowning.
...in no time I'll be there... and we'll sail into the sunset...
Come right now and take me away.
You cannot rush these things.
You know?
I am wearing the dress you gave me.
You must be looking like Mumtaz right now.
How's that sipply wife of yours?
Must be ok.
Sadly's getting too big for her boots.
I know all these new brides are all like that.
First six months are good as gold then they starts to buy 100 feet.
They think marriage is luck.
It takes commitment, compromise, give and take, ups and downs.
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Have you seen my shoes?
My feet are hurting.
Are you mad, sneaking up on me like that?
Do you have any idea how high my B.P. is?
Bloody idiot.
Just can't understand where my shoes are gone - Oh just shut up!
You are loosing your mind and you are worried about your shoes.
Look at this cut.
I can't stand this anymore.
What were you doing down there?
Look at the flowers.
Whatever you had in your small brain is fried with the smoke that you smoke.
Look at the flowers.
I wanted to get them for the dining table but I couldn't find my shoes.
It's true now.
What they say that God is in the small details.
Can you get it repaired when you go to Panchgani town.
God is in the little details!
What happens to the bigger picture?
Who looks after that?
Bloody idiot!
What are you laughing for?
Fix the thing!
OK
Please!
And that my friend, is check mate.
You know, its much better now.
I've stopped using a pillow also.
Very bad sleeping posture.
You must take care... it's not good to take such a burden on your shoulders.
Actually I think you should see to Farokh now.
It's look like he has a very bad spring.
How did it happen? Football?
He's a bit old for that.
With that stomach...
You must insist on him dieting.
You think he will ever listen to me?
Anyway we can try...
Now you do one thing... you keep this on till the evening.
Don't take it off.
I am completely fine now. Lets go.
Mr. Farooq... come inside. Let me have a look at you.
Oh yeah. I forgot about senior inspector, Manindar Lovely.
Bombay's finest duty bound to protect and serve... but on his own terms.
A brutal policeman...
with the social skills of the scum he had dedicated his life to putting away.
Scuzzy underworld elements, killers, rapists, murderers,
had all at some time or the other
come into contact with the business end of his philosophy
of live and let die.
But at this very moment in his life.
Little did lovely know... that he would decide the fate of the entire Sethna Family.
Shoulder dislocation.
And you?
Oh, Sorry.
Actually, I am here with my husband.
He seems to have...
Nanand Jee is the best bone setter... in India.
He has set more bones in my body than there are.
You see Ma'am...
In police work...
we face death staring at us...
all the time.
How's it feeling?
That nothing Bastard twisted it more.
Lets go. Take the bag as well.
Mrs. Sethna?
...you have choosen a life of crime, you must remember it's the consequences.
Come, come... I'll show you where you're going...
You.
Why do you come here?
Why couldn't you ever teach me how to love anyone.
You could have cut my wrist with a slash of a knife.
But why?
Why do you have to clip my wings?
I am your only...
Don't forget!
Upon the stairs I saw a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there the other day I wish to God he go away.
How is your arm inspector?
Have they relocated your bone?
As good as new Madam.
Actually it was...
It was very nice of you to take charge of my belongings.
But they would've been perfectly safe with Nadra Jee.
Does anyone ever pick up the phone around here?
24 hours, Madam.
Ringer on full volume.
So that I could hear in that puppet room.
The puppet room?
That is inside.
Reserved for the finer section of the society.
You know Madam, when they come here they are very strong and silent.
But by the time they leave,
I know their aunt's Blood group and what they ate for breakfast 16 years ago.
Where they talk like Puppets. I get it!
But nobody answered the phone when I called 6 times.
Six times...
They should be here now.
When I'm busy.
Could I have my locket please?
Of course, Madam.
But, why you worry?
We are the police and it is more safer with us than it is with you.
Let's really give them something to clean up this time. Shall we?
The whole works.
No, no son... I really shouldn't.
No, no, no. You really should.
Now, if this doesn't kill a few million of your potty budds nothing will.
I can see that you can have a fine palate for the good stuff, Mr. Sethna.
You know your goal from the starting... don't you.
You should have educated your son while you were at it.
You alright, Mr. Sethna?!
Arey you don't know how we use to drink.
During prohibition, the British Soldiers of punagursion...
would sell us bottles smuggled straight from Scotland.
Ah! Those were the days.
I remember one officer's wife...
whom we all use to fuck one by one.
But she had an eye for me.
How come Farooq didn't get any of your classiness?
Who?
He's a bloody bastard.
No, no, no.
I kept him in line good and proper.
He was such a coward...
that I had to hit him to make him a man.
Do you see this?
This was my father's.
At first, I let Farooq be.
Let him grow on his own.
But his mother spoiled him.
My Farooqi!
My child.
I used to tell her...
I used to catch him by his collar.
Push him out of the house.
Go somewhere and learn something.
Be rough and tough.
And then he used to cry like a coward.
I used to use this hand.
He used to hit him with the ring?
Upon the stairs I saw a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there the other day. I wish to God he'd go away.
See, the reason why I took the locket, Madam,
this Nanand Jee may be friend of yours...
but I'm his favorite patient...
and believe me what I tell you.
His wife Mahrrukh...
Has a problem of picking up other's things.
Believing that they are hers.
And this problem has passed through the children.
His son starting shouting.
Making noises all over.
When I asked him about my handcuffs back.
And Mahrukh insisted that they were his.
Handcuffs?
I know this is hardly a laughing matter. I did not wanted to insult Nanad Jee.
So I let it fly off the cuff.
You have a way with words, Inspector.
Madam! By now you have realised that I am man of few word.
And we both know that a strength of a man is not in his words.
But in its meaning.
How many times do I have to tell you to get good tea?
You know how to play chess, Mr. Sethna?
Used to...
I was not a grand master or anything.
But my father told me one thing about life from this game.
He use to say...
Always remember, son...
once a game is over...
the king and the pawn...
go back into the same box.
Here try this...
I think you'll like it.
And of course, you Parisi's are known for your generosity to another Parsi.
Inspector has your clock stopped?
Has it?
Hey, Tam bay.
See it stopped.
It is the evening time just past 5 for being exact.
Oh, it's late. I should go.
I have to buy vegetables for dinner and my husband will be home soon.
I am also running late for my waxing appointment.
What a coincidence.
My daughter is also making candles.
Something like that.
I hope I get back before he does. He gets very angry if his tea is not ready
when he comes in.
Yeah, even my Mrs. keeps the tea hot water every time I return.
Maybe I could accompany you to vegetable salad. It's around the corner.
Thank you so much for keeping my locket.
It was a pleasure meeting you, Inspector.
Pleasure is with me Madam.
In this place I hardly get a chance to meet people of my frequency.
Katy and Dinshaw really care about me.
They are the only ones who care.
I should have stayed with them.
You know,
They keep calling me.
Yeah I know.
Dinshaw talks about you all the time.
What's this for?
Don't worry Mr. Sethna.
I am on your side.
I am here to help you.
You just relax.
And enjoy your patty.
OK?
I know you said it was locked, Mr. Sethna.
But do you have the keys for the connecting door.
Mr. Sethna.
The keys?
Very well then.
People like you don't realize how much of a burden you can be.
Nobody wants...
We'll meet in a little chess bug sometime.
My old friend.
Nothing.
Shit they really do starve him.
You're better off now Mr. S.
What you had before, was a slow, slow death.
Hi beautiful.
Your Husband is here by often.
Oh my God!
Well I was planning to actually.
But then he mysteriously passed away.
Is there a mess?
Now, isn't that a stupid question?
What if there is?
You want me to call housekeeping and have them clean it up?
Don't be sarcastic, OK, Cyrus.
Relax, chill.
This is already longer than I planned to talk to you.
Should we meet later?
Over drinks or something?
Just remember that she comes home at 5:30.
So there's enough time.
You know what you have to do!
Now you sure that she's gonna come in here.
Or do I have to find the key and go next door to wait for her.
I told you that she comes in.
She does it every day.
Just wait for her.
And also just remember...
How did you ever approve?
Sweet old Baba.
Did good for his kids.
Should have let him finish his meal at least.
Probably the best frigging meal he's had in these last few shitty years of his life.
You can't make an omelet without breaking the eggs now, can you?
And little stitch in time saves nine. Doesn't it?
Ya, ya, bye.
Cow.
Yup, you can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
And Katy likes omelette done just fine.
A tasty little two egg omelet.
Inheriting an entire building in Central Bombay.
A spiffy vintage car to drive around in.
A lover with high aspirations.
Who's married to a meek little bitch who thought the sun shine...
out of her convent ass.
Yup, what better place to look but the immediate family.
So bring out the frying pan. Time for the eggs to go one by one.
Wisk, Wisk. Splat, Splat.
Holy Shit.
So apparently Katy had a three egg omelet in mind.
The final splat.
Nothing like the succulent taste of double cross to garnish a bland breakfast.
Wow.
This was gonna be good.
Hello.
Hey! Having fun while I do the hard work?
Hello, Farooq! Hello.
Hello, Katty, you ugly stupid, cross eyed whore.
Cyrus, that's you?
Why are you calling?
Tina's due.
You know it's me you friggin' cow.
Tina came so early she was wearing pants and a shirt.
If I am not mistaken she had a hair cut and a sex change.
What a girl!
What are you talking about?
Listen to me! You know how I hate talking on phones.
I'll make it brief but very clear so you know exactly were we both stand, OK?
Hello.
You bastard!
Me!?
I was wondering where were you? You dirty piece of shit.
How did you get in here?
Doesn't work finish at 6:30?
You playing hooky again Farooqi dear?
Look at you! You fat slob.
What was the bravest thing you ever did?
Push dear daddy in the bathroom.
Take away his candy?
Oh boy, I'm going to enjoy bashing your cowardly bones till you squeal.
You fat bastard.
Cyrus! Cyrus!
This was such a bad idea.
Such a bad idea.
Katy you stupid slut.
What made you think that some fat slob can take me out with a lead pipe?
Geeze, no wonder.
Cyrus, Cyrus listen... No! shut up bitch!
Let me finish.
One more interruption and I'll hang up and you'll never know whom.
So your lover was suppose to surprise me.
With a fine rod and his gun.
Well, he's the one with a shocked expression right now.
The phone's dead.
Maybe Katy should have bought you a mobile phone too, you prick.
Anyway, thanks for the cash.
Though, it really didn't cover the double cross.
Are you thankful, you oily whore?
What have you done?
Sorry, I can't quite hear you.
You were saying...
You idiot what have you done?
What's happening down there?
Why don't you ask your Faltou frogy tomorrow.
When he calls at 2 in the afternoon.
Looking for something Farooqi dear?
Something like this perhaps?
So you and your whore thought you could screw me around now?
That macho Farooq would walk in, find dear daddy dead
and his sweet wife Tina too.
Murdered by big bad Cyrus.
And then what?
That Farooq Sethna the brave...
would kill me with this?
I'm sorry Fogy dear.
You're just not part of the plan.
I'm not finding this funny Cyrus.
Relax.
Don't you know how fair I am?
Who kept your Panchgani's house clean for you?
With your sweet dimwit husband who left trails of mucky clay all over the place
and his high class whore wife was too laddy da to do any cleaning herself.
You're not going to pee in you're pants, are you, Big Bear.
Fuck!
Yes, I do but unlike you, women don't fall asleep while I'm at it.
Shit!
Hello?
You still there?
You Bastard!
All I wanted to do was send him presents.
And it was you...
you planted this evil idea in my head.
You're such a sick man Cyrus.
And you're a dumb bitch, Katy
I played you long before the chocolates and the money.
No omelets for you darling.
They're bad for your health.
It was a beautiful evening.
I wondered that day what Panchgani's weather would be like.
And Dinshaw.
That tired pathetic pot head.
Dreaming his rank stale dreams.
Unaware that his immediate world was not what he thought.
Unaware that the sky would open up and great gobs of shit would fall on his sweaty wrinkled bed.
Too stoned to see that his wife's shell shocked expression
was due to her realization that her life would come to an end.
What happened to Katy and Dinshaw next?
Was something they'd never would have imagined in their wildest dreams.
So shall we understand one basic thing.
That we are all educated peoples in this room.
You Mr. Sethna,
teacher of making pots, pans, and beautiful items such like.
And your educated wife.
And I, my dear, may not possess your basic Parsi novelty
and your exalted qualifications.
But!
I would like to point out that when I'm faced with a situation like this...
where I have 2 deceased corpses and so much of forensical evidences.
I don't need,
I don't need your MA's and MDP's qualifications.
To put it to end together.
Please correct me if I am wrong.
That's preposterous!
No preposterous that's proposed.
All the evidence in this file is...
Hey! Let me finish.
Senior Inspector Mahindarlal Lovely
had been shunted to various departments all over the country.
owing to his passion for violence and corruption.
But you just couldn't hit the so-called decent folk in this town...
without some political shit hitting the fan.
And when Lovely could not get violent.
He did the next best thing.
He got verbal diarrhea.
See there is no way out for you otherwise.
Only if you cooperate and tell us where is that gun which you used on your brother.
The court might be inclined to be lenient.
Already you're facing one charge of murder.
Both of you.
We have already discovered the knife.
And sooner or later we will find the weapon which you used to shoot Mr... Mr...
Farooq Sethna.
Why not save yourself please?
Dinshaw-Dinshaw I keep telling you it's that Cyrus.
See
I can't understand you say that this boy...
known to you as Cyrus
or whatever, whose sir name your not knowing.
Being friendly with your aged father...
and killed him.
For what reason I don't know.
And he went next door and killed Mr. Farooq Sethna.
For what reason... I don't know.
And then maybe wiped out all the prints and cleaned with meticulous care.
And left... I can understand that.
Why don't you find this boy?
I can't understand why are you harassing us like this?
I am harassing you?
You keep on talking about this boy.
All the time this boy did this, this boy did this.
This boy went up the hill.
This boy went down the other side.
This boy this...
From where he came and where he is now?
And instead of his prints all over the place...
why there are yours Madam?
And yours?
I had lied to Katy about everything being cool.
Come to think of it,
I had lied the Katy about everything.
I figured I was more Dinshaw's right hand man.
So I stuck to keeping more Katy's print on my left
There were prints in every conceivable place.
Places where even the sloppiest of criminals would overlook.
The cops had just never had it so easy.
This fine gentleman sitting here
says how he has not met his father for last 1 year.
Then please explain me why his shoe foot prints
and mud prints from Panchgani house were at the scene of the crime.
Why? How?
I was not, I was not in Bombay.
I was in Panchgani.
I have a helper.
That Bastard! That Bastard!
He called me in Punchghani
Please Check... check the phone.
I was in Punchghani.
You are a truly Superman!
A women!
Maybe you have powers to be at two places at one time.
Maybe you're like a... a...
Leave it.
So you come to Bombay.
You stick a big knife into your father in law.
And then you killed Mr...
Whoever... with his own gun,
and then you wait
for his sweet wife to come
and off her.
So that the whole building is yours.
But unknown to you, she is with me.
Thank God for her.
And now you can't wait.
So you leave.
Now you two gentlemen peoples
traveling up and down from Punchghani to Bombay
and back. Who will see you? Who will remember you?
All you Parsi look alike.
Don't you agree with me?
And Madam! For this alibi you talk of...
Lord Krishna will come down
and blame it for you.
And the Judge will throw the case of the court.
Because...
You...
You called your Punchghani mansion
from this mobile phone which was used at the scene of crime.
I did not!
I was in Punchghani!
And the owner of which is...
none other than you, Madam.
No. No. It's not like this!
It's not like this!
I gave him the phone so that he could call me.
Why can't you understand this boy exists?
He did errands for me.
That bloody baker, Barut to get bread for me! Get him for me!
Please ask Barut. Please ask Barut.
Barut seen him so many times! Just ask him!
You have this annoying temperament
whereby you seem to be telling me how to carry on my investigation.
I will tell you
I was in Punchghani for two days.
Mind you, two days in that beautiful hill station
minus my Mrs.
Talking to everyone.
Talking to everyone. Please!
Please do not insult my intelligence!
Do I insult yours?
And Mr Barut...
This friendly baker of your's... laughed.
He laughed and he did this.
But mind you, I almost corrected him because according to me you're not.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You are a twisted criminal genius my dear lady.
If I was a twisted criminal genius
you think I have left my finger prints all over the place?
You think I have not heard of finger printing?
Do I look so stupid? Do you think I am an idiot?
That is fortunately...
Unfortunately.
I knew that.
As I said Madam,
Unfortunately,
that is not for me to comment on.
Unfortunately.
It is arguable that Katy could ever have talked her way out of this one.
Considering that there was more prints of her in that house
than there are China men in China.
But an officer, who resented the protected minorities,
was not the best choice for Katy to stab in the cheek with a freshly sharpened pencil.
This was quite simply the worst move she ever made...
in her essentially emotionless life.
Thank you, the price is negotiable so please call any time.
Mrs. Sethna.
You are full month late Cyrus Mistry.
That is still name is isn't it?
And just when I was revelling in the fact with that stingy bastard husband of mine
had saved more than we could ever spend,
you would never believe what I found stashed in the old fool's mattress.
Look in the side board under all that stuff in the second drawer.
How much is there?
Enough to buy another house, probably.
Some of those notes are so old, that freak must have been holding since he was a teenager.
There is more in the cupboard.
But why did he ever live like that?
Why didn't he ever spend any of it?
He didn't have to depend on you all.
Probably the sight and smell of it kept him alive.
Considering the shit we fed him.
And what's with the shaggy look?
You don't shave anymore?
If Dad had been around, he would have given you good thrashing for looking like this.
If Dad have been alive,
I think he would have given us both a good thrashing for little more than just my looks.
Hey.
Forget all that.
That crap is over.
Look at us.
We've finally arrived.
I was thinking to riding down to Punchghani today.
What?
No.
You will do no such thing.
- But I... - No buts.
You are going nowhere unless I say so. Is that clear?
Look at me when I talk to you, God damn it.
I said... is that clear?
- Sorry? - Yes, it's clear.
Good.
Now I haven't said anything about you coming back out a full month later then I've instructed.
You didn't call me.
You didn't ask me if I needed anything. You're crossing the bloody lines.
- I just... - Shut up!
You listen to me.
The Sethna chapter is over.
And you better start towing in the line because soon it will be time to open a new one.
What?
Why?
Look.
Everything worked out in our favor this time.
We were lucky. Don't you get it?
Who the hell do you think you are to tell on me now?
Do you know the shit that I've gone through, protecting you throughout this?
I'm the only one you've got Xerxes. Don't ever forget that!
What are you without me?
You are nothing but a common criminal that's all.
So don't give me that crap about lucking out. Land ever single frigging detail along the way.
I've made you who you are Xerxes.
But you still have long way to go...
Relax sweetie.
Nobody's pushing anything. I am just kidding. Hum?
It was really as simple as that.
What happened after I left, I really don't know.
I could only guess.
I took what I needed, a little spending money to reach my next destination.
A few troubled memories.
And a fake shadow of the person I had once been.
I'm sure Katy regretted her greed and probably Dinshaw's secondary smoke that had clouded her mind.
As for Dinshaw,
he was too far gone to realize that he was in for life.
And me?
I got my freedom back.
I was free from a part of me which I no longer recognized.
Though I wondered if any of it really mattered.
But there was one thing I knew I would never forget.
Once the game is over, the King and the Pawn go back into the same box.